Sometime last year I went back to therapy. I was still feeling resentment towards my ex-wife and wanted to get over it. My therapist was helpful as always, and her main message was that I had to find forgiveness to be able to move on. I still have not found forgiveness yet (maybe it fell down behind the couch cushions) but I did find a playlist I made soon after the separation. For many years I made playlists in format close to 80 minutes, the limit of what could be burned onto a CD. I do not have a CD player anymore, even on a computer, but I still have these playlists in electronic format. I listened to this playlist, "Breakup CD", on a recent trip to Toronto, driving around in a rental car, and was reminded that it was a particularly good one. The songs are meant to be played in order, and they hit many of the emotions triggered by a breakup: pain, anger, sadness, melancholy, acceptance, nostalgia, and resentment, but (I noticed) not forgiveness. The track list can be found below.
I made another playlist around the same time, "New Love CD", with some good tunes but somehow lacking the same level of synergy in the Breakup CD. I remember not being convinced that would find new love, but in fact I did quite quickly after the separation and have since remarried.
- Don't You Want Me (The Human League)
- Why (Annie Lennox)
- The Thrill Is Gone (Chet Baker)
- Let Me Go (Heaven 17)
- Babe I'm Gonna Leave You (Led Zeppelin)
- Baby Get Lost (Billie Holliday)
- Just Came Back (Colin James)
- Cubs in Five (Mountain Goats)
- Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
- Unhappy Birthday (The Smiths)
- You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)
- I Fall To Pieces (Patsy Cline)
- Willow Weep For Me (Frank Sinatra)
- My Old Friend The Blues (The Proclaimers)
- I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)
- Go Your Own Way (Fleetwood Mac)
- They Can't Take That Away From Me (Ella Fitzgerald)
- Adieu -- long version (Seatbelts)
