I have had an easy life

I am a white, middle class, male, protestant (well, atheist), heterosexual Canadian. It is my experience, and it has mostly been unexamined, although I was aware of gender inequity if you take the "male" part away from my list in the first sentence. It has lately been made clear how easy my life has been. I have not been seriously bullied, physically or sexually abused, or raped. I have never had to line up for basic food or go hungry or wonder where I would sleep that night. I have enjoyed good health and had very little dental work, and it all was with anaesthetic. I had the opportunity for excellent professional development with supportive mentorship, and it led to financially and intellectually rewarding work in the city I wanted to be in. There were a few brief periods with limited finances (as a child when my mother was a graduate student and then as an adult when I was a graduate student). These were clearly transitory, however, and I value them because I appreciate everything I have now just a little bit more.

I cycled home today in the sunshine, having left work early because I can (although I'll work some long hours sometime to make up for it). I am enjoying a drink while I look out my window at the sunset, with a full weekend ahead with my friends and family.

A wise friend of mine once said that everyone's own worst pain is their yardstick for pain. My normalizing factor, my worst pain, is the difficult (and failed) family and romantic relationships I have had. Having finally understood how difficult life can be (or as well as you can having never experienced it yourself) I now know how easy my own life has been. It would be really great if understanding how difficult life can be would make me happier with my own. However, it does seem that to change your perception of your own pain, you have to actually experience the pain of others. I believe this is called empathy, but remember, I am a mathematician. It seems that whatever pain you have had, great or small or empathic, you just have to deal with it.